Tomorrow is my 41st birthday. While I’m not one of those people who hate birthdays, I haven’t always looked forward to them either. Rather than being a reminder of getting older, sometimes it’s just a reminder of all of the things left undone.

Today I’m sharing ten of the biggest hurdles I’ve faced. Ten things that I thought were exclusive to me, in my life, until I began talking and working with women around the world. Ten things that have kept me awake at night or have sent my into hysterical tears. And the ten things I’ve told myself in order to overcome.

It’s Not Too Late

The lies you tell yourself “I should be further along,” or “I should have accomplished that dream by now.” You beat yourself up, become frustrated with your life, or even worse…convince yourself it’s too late.

Girl, it is NEVER too late to go for new goals.

The Lies

“I don’t have the beauty, talent, youth, money, skills, {fill in the blank} that SHE does.” If you tell yourself that enough, you’ll believe it. Stop kidding yourself. Those are just excuses.

The real truth?…SHE wants it more than you do.

The REAL truth?…SHE is working harder than you do.

The REAL truth?….When you stop trying to copy what SHE is doing, find your authenticity, and build with the resources you possess, then you will become unstoppable too.

Girl, stop convincing yourself that your excuses are the truth.

Stop Looking Back

You were born with skills, gifts, and talents to bring to the world and those skills, gifts, and talents become stronger every year. The “I should have’s” and the “I wish I had’s” or the “If only I had’s” are keeping you in a pit year after year.

It is a self-perpetuating cycle. Regret fuels more regret. Inaction fuels more inaction. Tell me, when will enough be enough?

Girl, stop looking backwards with regret and start being absolutely obsessed with building a tomorrow that you love.

Let Go of Those People

There are people who absolutely love and adore you. They want nothing more than to see you thrive in your life. They will support you, encourage you, uplift you, give you a shoulder to cry on and then give you the shove you need to get back in the game.

Yet you become obsessed with the people who have rejected you or hurt you. You worry about what other people think of you when they don’t really care about you at all. You spend mental energy on the naysayers in your life than the people who love you.

Girl, stop chasing anyone or anything who doesn’t want you. Go where you’re wanted and appreciated, make your own opportunities, and never wait for permission to go after your goals.

Time is Moving On

“I’ll have time later,” is one of the most destructive thought patterns you can possess. Time is moving forward. It can’t be stopped. Parents are getting older. There is no guarantee that the people you love will be here tomorrow. Any time that you spend in regret, guilt, or procrastination is stealing precious moments from yourself and from those who are here, now, ready to love you.

Girl, people will be gone from your life before you realize it. Love them, hold them, laugh with them NOW.

Go With Your Gut

Your facts, charts, and weighing pros and cons are only going to get you so far. You can spend a lifetime trying to convince yourself to take a step or go for a dream. You can waste decades of time praying for answers when you already know the answer but are fearful of it.

Girl, go with your gut. If it says, “Yes!” then stop waiting for the fear to subside. A “Yes,” from your gut means it’s time to take action right now!

You and Your Happiness

Stop looking to your spouse, your friends, your kids, your parents to make you happy. Stop making them responsible for your #1 job….taking care of you.

Girl, you cannot give more and more to your family, your relationships, and your work when you are depleted. Make your happiness and health your #1 priority. 

Speak Up

Hoping that someone will understand or know what you want is not a game plan. You need to be bold in asking for things in life. Don’t just hope your spouse will figure out what you want. Don’t just wish that your boss will give you a raise. Don’t just believe that the customers are going to begin to fall in your lap. Have the conversation, send the email, pick up the phone!

Girl, speak up! No one can read your mind. Ask for all of the things you want in life!

Release the Warrior

You’ve brainwashed yourself. You’ve told yourself lies. You’ve allowed yourself to believe that you were unworthy of love, success, dreams, or even happiness. You’ve convinced yourself that you are small or insignificant. Rejection and guilt have helped to steer your life choices. But these beliefs are not truths!

You are powerful. There is a warrior inside of you who has been waiting to come out and obliterate your fears. You are neither small nor insignificant. You have so much strength inside of you if you would only let go of the lies you’ve believed.

Girl, don’t let the stories you’ve been telling yourself dictate your future decisions. Release the warrior within you and watch how your life unfolds.

Spend Time With You

Social media is the escape of all escapes. You use it to avoid work, life, and the big decisions that needs to be made. You bury your face in your phone and the fears, scary decisions, or heartache of the real world disappear.

For a moment you live in a different world. Like a drug, the social media world is easier but it’s just temporary.

Girl, put down the phone! Spend more time with yourself. Go hiking alone, write in your journal, spend time in prayer. You’ll be amazed at how fast you’ll receive clarity in your life, your standards will change, and you will fall in love with you.

Which piece of advice resonated with you most and what hard advice have you had to give yourself over the years?

Leave a comment below and let us know. Remember, share as much detail as possible in your reply. Incredible people come here each week for insight and inspiration, and your story may help someone else have a breakthrough.

Thank you so much for adding to the conversation and making this an incredible community!