“All fears come down to a fear of rejection” – Marisa Peer. These words changed my life. Marisa explained that built within our DNA is the fear of rejection. Just 1,000 years ago rejection was {literally} a life or death situation. To be rejected by your community or your tribe meant that you faced the wilderness and your enemies all alone. We have such a fear of rejection because deep down within us, we believe rejection means death. In today’s world, rejection simply means that’s not the path, or the community, or the person for us. It no longer means the end of our life. Yet, we still fear it in the same way. So your boss says “no” to the pay raise, are you going to die?…..No. It simply means that’s not the path for you right now. Your boyfriend/girlfriend breaks up with you, will it be the end?….No. It means there is someone else. Yet we make decisions to do something, or not to do something, from the place of fear. “What will people think?” “What if I fail?” “What if he/she leaves me?” “What if I’m a disappointment?” “What if I can’t live up to their expectations?” Two books that have changed my life on this subject are: I Am Enough: Mark Your Mirror and Change Your Life” by Marisa Peer Braving the Wilderness: The Quest for True Belonging and the Courage To Stand Alone” by Brené Brown I love the video below because Marisa gives step-by-step practical advice on how to handle rejection.
 
  1. Thank you for sharing that.
  2. I actually missed that, would you say again?
  3. Oh sounds like you’re trying to make me feel really bad about myself.
  4. You know that’s not going to work because I’m not going to let that in, you can think what you like and saw what you like but I’m not going to let that in.
  5. You know since we’re sharing did you know that critical people have the most criticism reserved for themselves? When you keep criticizing me you’re showing everyone here that you’re really dissatisfied with yourself and that’s a shame.